So...here are thoughts on what I have had to learn the hard way over the last 26 years. I will quote my favorite teenage angst band from the 80's, The Smiths.
It's so easy to laugh. It's so easy to hate. It takes strength to be gentle and kind. ~Morrisey
One of the wisest things Margene Pappas taught me was to withhold judgment of a band, director or program until I understand their situation. No two programs have the exact same schedule, funds, admin support, parent support, lesson resources, student population, etc.
Anyone who makes blanket negative statements about programs and directors who they do not have personal experience or relationships with is just an utter fool. And I have been an utter fool. My mouth often opened before my brain functioned. At 25 I was an expert-you just had to ask me.
Learn from my mistakes and whether you hear a colleague say something ignorant, read an unbelievably naive question on Facebook or hear a band whose performance you find weak, help. Be the teacher and help. No one has ever looked better by making others look bad except maybe in a John Hughes movie.